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secondbeatsongs:

somehow instead of saying “as a treat”, I’ve started using the phrase “for morale”, as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I’m not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

(via otteroflore)

kaijutegu:

kaijutegu:

That post about fly me to the moon and let me kick its fucking ass has permanently changed me.

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I will never be normal again

(via otteroflore)

irascibleblackguard:

colorful-horses:

why he eat the berry like that

comments on this one are a goldmine stg

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I wanna add that years ago I watched one of the Strawberry Shortcake specials with my little brother, and he said of the Pieman, “Uugh! He’s always…doin’ things, and coming outta places.”

It’s all true. Every word.

(via otteroflore)

autistic-af:

It’s Tuesday!! Y'all know what that means!

Random Animal!

You get: Moon Crab

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(via lyrslair)

alistairs:

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BG3 [4/?]

Do you have people out there? Family? Friends? A, lover perhaps?

uberguber89:

mixmioart:

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🦇Service Mindset🦇

Don’t be rude to whoever has the midnight shift at McDonalds

If i had a manager that killed rude customers, I’d keep any secret in the world for them!

(via wolfsskull)

ashesoriley:

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Me when I’m overstimulated

(via wolfsskull)

emeritusprofessorofnothing:

ozianthus-arts:

Baby I don’t got microplastics in me, I got MACROplastics. I just ate an entire ziplock bag

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(via profmeowmers)

pangur-and-grim:

just had the weirdest interaction. this off-leash Yorkshire Terrier wobbled up to sniff my ankle, and then its owner said “the vet wanted to euthanize her”

and I was like “……oh”

and she said “4 years ago. she had a stroke, but I went to church and prayed to the Virgin Mary, and now she can walk again. but sometimes she drops, which is why I have this stroller”

and I was like “oh, okay.” I didn’t know what to say after that, so I was just like “it’s a cool dog” and kept walking

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(via profmeowmers)

thornsilver:

ampervadasz:

I kill you

Unmute for full effect.

(via profmeowmers)

theyshapedlikefriends:

theyshapedlikefriends:

Puchimaru Kiwi

*gives you these in these trying times*

(Source: twitter.com, via profmeowmers)